Caught Between Wanting Change and Doing Nothing?
There’s a story many of us tell ourselves when we feel stuck: “I need to figure this out. I need to make a plan. I need to take action.” Sound familiar?
We believe that gathering the right strategies and pushing harder will finally shift things. But what if change didn’t need to start with a plan? What if noticing and being with the subtle friction — that quiet niggle in your body — was actually the path forward?
In this piece, we’ll explore how leaning into resistance and noticing the tension points in your body can guide you forward. I share my personal experience of how listening to my body, following my sacral response, and allowing myself to pause, led me to this truth: sometimes acceptance and stillness are the path forward.
What we’ll cover:
When the Mind Demands Action
Late last year, I found myself deep in that gap. I’d been sending regular emails, writing essays, and showing up on social media. Everything looked great on the surface but my body was whispering to me that it was time to stop. My mind wouldn’t allow it at first.
What if I fall behind? What if I’ll be forgotten? What if this dream I have will never happen?
Physically, this space was unsettling. My body buzzed with tension and restlessness while my mind scrambled for a way forward. The not self story that surfaced most strongly was: If only I could have courage, if only I had the one idea, the one strategy, then I’d be able to make it happen.
But in listening to my body, in letting my sacral guide me, I discovered a different truth: sometimes acceptance and stillness are the path forward.
So I allowed myself to be in that fallow space fully. I slowed down even when my mind demanded action. I let myself sit with discomfort, removed triggers of comparison, put on mental blinders, and got clear on what truly lit me up.
And slowly, I realized that when I returned to creating — sharing my voice, writing, and showing up on my terms — it wasn’t for self-worth or proof. I showed up because it made me feel alive. It was the process that I enjoyed the most, not reaching for a specific outcome.
The Mental Stories We Identify With
A similar pattern often repeats itself across career and purpose, relationships, and even creative projects: the times we feel stuck, caught between forcing a way through and giving up entirely.
The not self loop can show up in a multitude of ways: as self-doubt that’s amplified by comparison, the consistent mental compulsion to figure things out at all costs, or even fear around what others might think of you if you actually followed through with the thing that’s been lighting up your world.
Human Design has an uncannily accurate way of highlighting it, not just through the not self themes of our undefined centers but through elements that run a lot deeper. It’s an aspect of us that loves to interfer with our mind. Our not self shows up through the mental stories we identify with and the underlying patterns that guide our lives.
But what’s often misunderstood is that the aim isn’t to get rid of these not self parts of us. Instead, we aim to know them, cultivate awareness around their patterns, and see how the mind has been running our lives.
In that knowing, we will then be able to repattern these behaviours so that we can move through this life in a more embodied, aligned and empowered way. And that’s the desire The Friction Within was created from.
Recognising the Moment of Resistance
If there’s a part of you that recognises yourself here, let that be your sign that you’re ready to dive deeper. On some level, you know there’s a different way of relating to your stuckness, one that’s about noticing, surrendering, and trusting that it will pass.
Next time you feel that friction, pause. Take a few breaths. Bring your attention to your mental chatter and notice where it appears in your body. Which stories are running in your mind? Where is your body tightening, or signaling misalignment?
Here are a few journaling prompts to reflect afterwards:
What’s one moment this week where my mind wanted to act but my body resisted?
What story did my mind tell me about this resistance?
How could I lean into it instead of pushing against it?
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s that movement isn’t always about action. Sometimes it’s about recognising the moment of resistance, feeling it fully, and giving it space so that it can pass in its own rhythm and pace.
This is where the real shift lives, and where you start to see the friction within for what it truly is. Click here to enter the reflective space where fixing the problem isn’t the first move—being with it with compassion is.
I’m curious: what’s the story your mind is the loudest about? Leave it in the comments below.
Hi, I’m Silvia Poldaru. I work with Human Design through the body, supporting deep feelers and overthinkers to trust themselves in real life. Curious to learn more about who I am and why I do this work? Read more here.
The image credit goes to Julia Rudakova from Unsplash.
